"Unfortunately, Tuesday's (Lakers) crowd of power players, millionaires, industry frauds, celebrities and trophy girlfriends were afraid to stand because they thought the change in atmospheric pressure would affect the Botox in their cheeks."
—Bill Simmons on ESPN.com. (Nicole Formosa has decided to take on the The 5th Spot in the Web Editor's absence. She's taking The 5th Spot requests at firstname.lastname@example.org so don't be shy. The Web Editor returns with renewed vigor on Monday, June 23. Mahalo.)